Things That You Must Do on a First Date

We all want our first dates to be perfect. But do you really how to impress a girl on a date without overdoing it?
When you hook up on a first date with a gorgeous girl, it is understandable that you want to go all out and please her, maybe by showing her that you’re manly and in command, or by behaving like a doormat.
But there may be a few things that could be overdone and you might just blow any opportunity of getting to the next date.
The Huggable Understanding Guy tells you where to draw the line between doing the right things, and overdoing them. Here are 8 tips for first dates that every man should know to have a successful first date

#1 ARE YOU IN CONTROL?
It’ss important to be in control and make those tough decisions, like calling the waiter, deciding where to go, etc. when you’re with your date.
It’s not easy when you get all groggy and drool while staring at this beautiful woman beside you.
But there may be times when your behavior borders rudeness and arrogance. Swearing, snapping your fingers to call waiters and bad behavior is just unacceptable. So if you want to hold on to the hope of getting a second date, then learn to be courteous and gentle, not just with her, but with everyone around.

#2 TRYING TOO HARD
You may have waited since you were in first grade before the both of you got together for this date. You may have marked this moment in your secret diary and stored it as one of the best moments of your life. But you know what? She doesn’t have to know that!
She’ss still contemplating and figuring is she’s having a good date. Don’t ruin the moment by droning on about how happy you are.
She knows that you’re happy, but don’t blow it all out, all through the date. Make her wonder if you’re having a great time. Don’t give in to the chase even before it begins!

#3 DON’T SHOW OFF YOUR INDEPENDENCE
You love hanging out and bonding with your guy friends, and every Friday in your calendar might be allotted for hanging out with the boys. But saying that out aloud on your first date could actually turn out bad for you.
You might think that it shows your independence and confidence, and that you also respect her space and are not going to be a clingy boyfriend, but it actually works otherwise. She might think that your life is just too rigid.
Or worse, it may seem like you’re trying to set boundary rules even before both of you get steady.It’ss almost like you’re already imposing a rule on her. What did you think, that she would like it?!

#4 ANSWERING PHONE CALLS
Now no one’s telling you not to pick up calls or that you have to leave your cell phone at home, but you should know how to use it well.
Make sure your calls are short, even if you have to answer them. Don’t cut her in mid sentence to answer the call. Wait until she’s done with her sentence, and then excuse yourself, if only for a moment.
Another way you can actually make her feel more special is by answering the call, only to tell the person that you’re with someone who’s very important to you, and whatever it is, you could talk about it the next day! You could also add a cheeky grin to stop you from appearing pompous.
Now why wouldn’t that make just about anyone beam with happiness?
To top that, you could hang up, and then say, ‘Sorry, that was Bill Gates and he’s just so annoying.’ You could just laugh off that little joke of yours, and show her that you can be humorous at the same time!

#5 BE TOO CONCERNED
Remember, you’re out with someone who’s matured enough to think and take care of herself. You can ask her occasionally ifshe’ss comfortable, or if she requires something.
But don’t keep popping the same question to her again and again. It can get really annoying. Just enjoy the conversation and relax. Don’t push your protective and concerned act too far.
And if you find yourself running out of things to talk about, stop asking her ifshe’ss having fun. Instead, be comfortable and speak about something else. Usually the four magic words – music, work, movies, and shopping, will take the conversation really far and you can also have a great time getting to know each other.
You could also use the awesome six conversation starters on a date to start great conversations. And another thing, if you both have something in common in these four words, then you can go ahead and book your next date’s dinner reservation.

#6 REVEAL TOO MUCH
It’s fun to be with this girl who’s so much fun to hang out with. And you want to prove that you’re a great guy to hang out with to her. So what do you do? You tell her about all your brave, silly and hilarious encounters.
You start off right from the first time you ripped your pants in first grade, and go on all the way to the latest incident. Stop! First of all, she doesn’t want to know all of that, even if she seems like she loves hearing all of that. And secondly, spare some loving and exploring for later.
You don’t want her to know everything about you on the first date itself, do you? Give her a chance to learn more about you by herself. Let there by mystery in your togetherness, and let her wonder what else you have in store for her, the next time you meet up.

#7 YOUR VIEW AND HERS
This is a very touchy situation to handle.It’ss obvious that both of you have different views about different things. Arguing about anything is a big turn off for a girl.
Anything about religion, politics, or moral issues should be avoided at any cost. And even if this does crop up, don’t tell her outright that you don’t want to talk about it, instead try sweeping the topic under the carpet without a big fuss.
Just answer the question in a vague and abrupt manner, and bring up something more exciting to talk about.
Do not be dominating about any of your views, or be very boisterous about voicing your opinions.
Even if she supports something you’re firmly against, just give a small laugh, and tell her ‘Well, that’s one thing that i’m not too sure of, because I’ve always felt the other way about that’ and complete the sentence saying, ‘but I obviously respect your view, and our difference in opinions.’ Anyways tell me about the last time you’ And change the topic as subtly as you can.

#8 GETTING DISTRACTED!
Well, this is really easy to fall for, and one of the things you have to pay the most attention to. When you’re out with a lady, she expects to be treated like one.
Don’t sit across the table and dream or doze off. Worse, don’t squint your eyes so that you can focus one eye on her, while the other eye ogles that girl with those never ending legs walking past you in short skirts. Pay a lot attention to her, and listen to what she has to say.
And for crying out loud, is she’s wearing something with a deep neckline, stop staring at her bosoms and trying to judge how much more cleavage is concealed! This is not the time, and definitely not the place either.

Concentrate on her face, and have a great conversation. Be attentive to her needs. If you see her glass of water half empty, have a waiter refill it. If she wonders what ‘a-la-carte’ means and if you can’t figure it out, then let the waiter help you with that. Basically don’t distract yourself with things that can be put on hold, and pay a lot of attention to her needs.
Staring at a girl’s cleavage is a big no-no too, unless, of course, you know the art of staring at a girl’s cleavage like a gentleman.

If you can pay attention to these little details, it’s more than definite that your first date would only take you further into the next, and then the next.
Every date has a potential to be a great one just as long as you remember the things you need to avoid on a first date, and remember the things you need to do. So go on, enjoy yourself. Have a perfect first date!

The 6 Best Ways To Beat Your Girlfriend/wife Without Touching Her!!

For some time now men have been seriously accused of beating their wife. Ask me and I will tell you it is irresponsible for any man to beat her wife or girlfriend (either of the two). But then there are some other ways we can do this without actually touching or hitting them physically.

Don’t ask whether it is by denying them of cash – absolutely No! In fact any man than cannot sustain his wife and children is lazy and not worthy to be called a man.

Meanwhile this is applicable for everybody. When you have problem with your wife or girlfriend:

1. If she refuses to cook for you show her that you too can do can do equally do the cooking ( this is note for everybody as not every guys know how to cook) or you can buy already cooked food outside, bring it home and eat in front of her. While doing this you can put on some love song which will irritate her and make her to feel jealous.

2. You can also visit the Mr. Big, Citi chef or any tantalizer with your children without your wife.

3. If you have sexy body with hairy chest or smooth body this can be of an advantage (Pls don’t ask me if guys are sexy – swagger). grin

4. Play with your children or you can go for site-seeing (with your children only).

5. When together pretend as if you are chatting with your female colleagues (I don’t mean concubine undecided) in a manner that reminds her of the good times. Pretend as if she is not their even when you know she their.

6. When you discover she is remorseful may be you can forgive her (with a smile kiss). Don’t forget its part of the game

THE BEST SIGNS YOU'RE IN THE RIGHT RELTIONSHIP..

 




It’s not always where you are in life,
but who you have by your side that matters.

“How do I know if I’m in the right relationship or not?”

This is one of the most common questions our coaching clients ask us. And after Angel and I listen to the specifics of their situation, we often toss a question back at them to further clarify their thoughts and expectations. For instance:

“What do you think a “right relationship” should provide for the people in it?”

 

Although the answer here is obviously subjective, in all relationships, romantic and platonic alike, there are some clear signs that things are going well. So today, let’s take a look at some signs you’re in the “right relationship,” and corresponding tips that could potentially help you make a “wrong relationship” right:
1. No games are being played.

Far too often, we make our relationships harder than they have to be. The difficulties started when… conversations became texting, feelings became subliminal, sex became a game, the word “love” fell out of context, trust faded as honesty waned, insecurities became a way of living, jealously became a habit, being hurt started to feel natural, and running away from it all became our solution. Stop running! Face these issues, fix the problems, communicate, appreciate, forgive and LOVE the people in your life who deserve it.

And of course, if you feel like someone is playing games with you, speak up.
2. Everyone is on the same page.
If a woman starts out all casual with a man and she doesn’t tell him that she wants a committed relationship, it will likely never become a committed relationship. If you give someone the impression that casual, or whatever, is okay with you, that’s what will be assumed going forward. The bottom line is that you have to be straight from the start, or at least as soon as you know what you want. Don’t beat around the bush. If someone gets scared and runs away because you were honest and set boundaries, that person wasn’t right for you anyway.
3. The line of communication is open, honest, and clear.

You can’t be afraid to have certain conversations. It’s better to talk and find out the truth, than to keep going and get nowhere. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t expect the important people in your life to read your mind, and don’t play foolish games with their heads and hearts. Don’t tell half-truths and expect them to trust you when the full truth comes out – half-truths are no better than lies.

Listen without defending and speak without offending. Communication isn’t just an important part of a relationship, it is the relationship. Relationships often fail because of trust issues, commitment issues, and above all, communication issues. So be honest, commit, and COMMUNICATE always. (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Relationships” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
4. Loving deeds consistently reinforce loving words.
Nurture your important relationships so that when you tell the people you love that you love them, it’s merely a ritualistic validation of what you have already shown them by how you treat them on a daily basis. Do little things every day to show your loved ones you care. Knowing that the person you’re thinking of has you on their mind too means a lot.

Truth be told, you can say “sorry” a thousand times, or say “I love you” as much as you want, but if you’re not going to prove that the things you say are true, they aren’t. If you can’t show it, your words are not sincere. It’s as simple as that. And there’s no such thing as a “right” relationship that isn’t sincere at both ends.
5. Expectations of perfection are strictly forbidden.

Any relationship that’s real will not be perfect, but if you’re willing to work at it and open up, it could be everything you’ve ever dreamed of.

Your best friends and your soul mate may be far from perfect, but they are a perfect fit for you. Give them a chance to show you. When you stop expecting the people you love to be a certain way, you can start to enjoy and appreciate them for who they are. What you need to remember is that every relationship has its problems, but what makes it perfect in the end is when you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, even when times are tough.
6. Honesty, vulnerability, and presence are held sacred.

Although it may sound risky, the strongest type of love is the love that makes you the most vulnerable. It’s about daring to reveal yourself honestly, and daring to be open and fully disclosed over the long-term. It’s about sticking by each other’s side through thick and thin, and truly being there in the flesh and spirit when you’re needed most.

So open yourself up. BE with the person you love. Allow yourself to experience them authentically. Tear down any emotional brick walls you have built around yourself and feel every exquisite emotion, both good and bad. This is real life. This is how you welcome a sincere connection with another human being.
7. There is a healthy blend of freedom and teamwork.
Keep in mind that we can’t force anyone to be with us or love us. We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave. And likewise, we should never feel trapped in a relationship. In fact, if either person feels trapped, the relationship doesn’t really exist. Because that’s what relationships are all about: freedom.

Relationships are also built on a solid foundation of teamwork. And since relationships are one of the greatest vehicles of personal growth and happiness, the most important trip you will ever take in life is meeting someone else halfway. You will achieve far more by working with them, rather than working alone or against them. It really is a full circle. The strength of a relationship depends on the strength of its two members, and the strength of each member in the long run depends on the quality of the relationship.

And remember, relationships are rarely 50/50 at any given instant in time. You can’t always feel 100%, or a full 50% of a relationship’s whole – life is simply too unpredictable for that. So on the days when you can only give 20%, the other person must give 80%, and vice versa. It’s never been about balancing steady in the middle; healthy relationships are about two people who are willing to make adjustments for each other in real time as needed, and give more when the other person can’t help but give a little less.
8. Personal growth is embraced, celebrated, and shared.

It’s not about finding someone to lose yourself in, it’s about meeting someone to find yourself in. When you connect with someone special, a best friend or a lifelong partner, this person helps you find the best in yourself. In this way, neither of you actually meet the best in each other; you both grow into your best selves by spending time together and nurturing each other’s growth.

When you honestly think about what you and your closest confidants add to each other’s lives, you will often find that instead of giving or taking things from each other (advice, answers, material gifts, etc.), you have chosen rather to share in each other’s joy and pain, and experience life together through good times and bad. No matter what, you two are there for one another, growing and learning as one.
9. Outsiders aren’t calling the shots.
Relationships don’t always make sense, especially from the outside. So don’t let outsiders run your relationships for you. If you’re having a relationship issue with someone, work it out with THEM and no one else.

You have to live your own life your own way; that’s all there is to it. Each of us has a unique fire in our heart for certain people. It’s your duty, and yours alone, to decide if a relationship is right for you. You’ve got to stop caring so much about what everyone else wants for you, and start actually living and deciding for yourself.

28 FOUNDATIONS FOR HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS...

Almost two decades ago, when I asked my grandfather for some relationship advice, he said, “Honestly, the moment I stopped trying to find the right woman, and started trying to become the right man, your grandmother walked up to me and said, ‘Hello.’”

This small tip immediately changed the way I treated myself and others. In fact, it set the foundation for all the healthy relationships I’ve nurtured over the years, including my relationship with Angel.

The bottom line is that every single one of our relationships starts within us. When we uncomplicate ourselves, we uncomplicate our interactions with others. When we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, our relationships get a lot easier.

Which means it’s time to…





Stop looking to others for the love and respect only you can give yourself. – Self-respect, self-worth, and self-love. There’s a reason they all start with “self.” You can’t receive them from anyone else.
Start accepting and embracing your flaws. – Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you. Love yourself! Forgive yourself! Accept yourself! You are YOU and that’s the beginning and the end… no apologies, no regrets.

ESCROW STILL RAGES AS TIBAIJUKA IS SACKED

President Jakaya Kikwete yesterday sacked Minister for Land, Housing and Human Settlement Development Prof Anna Tibaijuka over the Tegeta escrow account scandal cash.


The President announced the decision when delivering his verdict on the scandal in a televised address to the nation via a gathering attended by Dar es Salaam elders.


Prof Tibaijuka’s sacking comes only a day after she publicly rejected widespread calls to resign on her own volition over ethical issues surrounding the manner in which she received a whopping Sh1.6 billion, part of the escrow monies.


Her sacking was clearly the only exciting component of President Kikwete’s two- hour address during which he gave a long background of the IPTL saga that has blotted his administration.


The Head of State’s take on the scandal largely left many questions unanswered in relation to the parliamentary recommendations that suggested stern steps against those it viewed as culpable. Many of the recommendations were left hanging.


President Kikwete also said he has formed a special team to probe Minister for Energy and Minerals over his role in the controversial withdraw of billions from the Tegeta escrow account at BoT.


The Parliament had recommended that two ministers, energy and minerals permanent secretary Mr Eliakim Maswi, Attorney General Judge Francis Werema should be sacked while the Tanesco board of directors should be dissolved over the IPTL scandal. Mr Werema has since resigned as AG.


Prof Tibaijuka received the Sh1.6 billion from VIP Engineering and Marketing owner James Rugemalira. Said the President:


“We have spoken to Prof Tibaijuka and she told us she received the money as a donation for her school; but we asked ourselves: if the money was for the school, why was it transferred to her personal account?”


He added: “No matter what the reason was, it went against public leadership ethics; so we asked her to step aside so we can appoint someone else to take her position,” added the President to a big cheer crowd.


Last week Prof Tibaijuka vowed she would not quit over the escrow scandal. She proclaimed her innocence, claiming that even the President would be disappointed if she resigned.


Speaking about Prof Muhongo, the President said he would make his decision after receiving a report from a team which he formed to investigate him.

-Credit:THE CITIZEN