THIS IS TOO MUCH!! WATCH HOW PEOPLE DANCE IN TOTADY'S MUSIC SHOW..

SOMALIA'S AL-SHABAB ATTACKS ARMY HOTEL IN BULO-BURDE.

Somali Islamist fighters have attacked a hotel in a strategic central town the militants lost control of last week.

A car bomb exploded by the hotel in Bulo-burde where African Union (AU) and Somali officers were staying and gunfire continued for another five hours, witnesses said.

Six soldiers were killed, including a top Somali army commander, the AU said.

The al-Shabab Islamist group said it was behind the attack and that 30 AU and army officers had been killed.

A spokesman for the 22,000-strong AU force in Somalia (Amisom), Col Ali Adan Humad, said all the al-Shabab fighters involved in the raid had been killed, without specifying numbers.

Al-Shabab, which is linked to al-Qaeda, has waged an eight-year insurgency to overthrow the weak UN-backed government and create an Islamic state in Somalia. Key bridge

The BBC's Ibrahim Ade in the capital, Mogadishu, says al-Shabab had occupied Bulo-burde for more than five years.

The town, which has a strategic bridge over the River Shabelle and is at a crossroads linking various regions of the country, was an important base for al-Shabab.

Bulo-burde was captured as part of an ongoing AU and government offensive against al-Shabab, which controls much of south and central Somalia.

Communications to the central Hiran region went down not long after the fighting and gunfire in Bulo-burde ended, our reporter says.

Witnesses told the BBC the car blast at the hotel happened at 02:00 local time (23:00 GMT) and the fighting went on until about 07:00.

Col Humad said three Djiboutian soldiers and three Somali soldiers, including Col Mohamud Amin - the military commander of Hiran who was leading the offensive in the region - were killed.
Somalia's militants have pledged loyalty to al-Qaeda

Ten soldiers were also wounded, he said.

Earlier, Col Humad denied there were casualties when an Amisom convoy was attacked near its base in Arbiska outside Mogadishu.

Al-Shabab had released a statement saying that seven Burundian peacekeepers and five American nationals travelling in the vehicles were killed on Monday afternoon.

The al-Qaeda-linked group lost control of Mogadishu in 2011, but has intensified bombings and mortar raids in the city in recent weeks.

Last month, al-Shabab fighters stormed Villa Somalia, the seat of government in Mogadishu, killing at least 11 people. 

-SOURCE BBC

KATIBA MEMBER WANTS JOB FOR YOUTH.

Constituent Assembly (CA) member Beatrice Shelukindo has suggested that the new Constitution should contain provisions that assure the youth of employment.


Ms Shelukindo argued that the new Supreme Law should state categorically that people attaining the age of 60 should retire in order to pave the way for younger people to join the working population.


“It should state that it is illegal for people aged 60 and above to continue working. Anyone found employing people in that age category should be taken to court,” she said.


She was speaking at an open forum during a special training to CA members organised by the Tanzania Human Rights Defenders Coalition (THRDC) held here at the weekend.


The training aimed at discussing various articles and provisions contained in the second Draft Constitution that dwell on human rights and related issues.


The training also sought to make sure that the new Constitution would keep the article and provisions on human rights.


“We still have a big problem in this country because we have witnessed various people reaching retirement age but still their contracts are extended while young people are moving from one office to another in search of jobs to no avail,’’ she said adding: “Look at our envoys in various countries, they are too old to the extent that their thinking capacity is surely poor, yet we have young people who are well educated and are energetic.’’


Ms Shelukindo said if her proposal would be put into consideration, it would be a major boost to majority youth who are haunted by unemployment in t

he country.

9 SIGNS THAT MAKE YOU TO DIE HAPPY!

Everyone dies, but not everyone truly lives.

My friend  funeral, her husband stood up to deliver her eulogy and said, “Life is the leading cause of death, and she LIVED her life, passionately. She died doing what she loved to do. If she didn’t do what she loved, she may not have died yesterday, but she wouldn’t have truly lived either.”

His words immediately reminded me of the opening lines to one of my favorite entries in my grandmother’s journal:

“I have seen and touched and danced and sung and climbed and loved and meditated on a lifetime spent living honestly. Should it all end tomorrow, I can positively say there would be no regrets. I feel fortunate to have walked in my shoes. I am truly lucky. I really have lived 1,000 times over.”

What does it mean to truly live? What does it mean to live 1,000 times over?

Perhaps… to someday die happy, with zero regrets of how you have lived.

And that means…
1. You are 100%, unapologetically yourself, every day.

Where’s your will to be weird? Where’s your resolution to be real?

Truth be told, it’s not weird to be weird. Everybody is weird in some way. You must celebrate your individuality and not be embarrassed of it. If you’re lucky enough to have something that makes you different from everybody else, don’t be ashamed and don’t change. Uniqueness is priceless. In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to be your remarkable self.

One of the most influential sources of both peace and happiness is simply being comfortable with who you really are. Not trading your reality for a role, or your truth for an act. Not giving up your freedom of thought. Not putting on a mask. There simply cannot be peace and happiness in your external life until you are at peace within yourself, being yourself. It won’t always be easy, but no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning your inner truth.

Being unapologetically YOU is worth it!
2. You are walking a path that makes you feel alive.

Today, work to create a life that feels right to YOU, not one that looks right to everyone else. Your worst inner battle will always be between what you know and what you feel. One of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make is when to stay put and try harder or when to just take your memories and move on. Sometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you are capable of being, and the person you truly are.

Your life is your message to the world; make sure it’s inspiring. Allow yourself more moments of awe and wonder and passion and grace. Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, hate, drama or negativity stop you. And don’t let them dim your light simply because it’s shining in their eyes.

If you desire to make a difference in the world, you must be different from the world. Dare to walk alone, and don’t be scared to like it. Remind yourself that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if some people disagree. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Passion and Growth” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
3. You always do your very best.

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it. Decide the work is worth the end result. The saddest summary of a life is just five words long: “Could have and should have.” Yes, sometimes life seems hard, but we often make it harder than it is. All you ever have to decide is what to do next. It really is this simple.

Say it out loud: “I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday. I will be who I am tomorrow because of the choices I make today.” Instead of complaining about your circumstances, get busy creating new ones. You either suffer the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.
4. You fully embrace reality, even when it hurts.

It’s better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie. The truth will always set you free, but first, it may tick you off for a while. So don’t sweat the small stuff. Live simply. Love generously. Speak truthfully. Work diligently. Then let go and let what’s meant to be, BE.

Letting go is often a step forward. Sometimes you have to walk away from what you thought you wanted to find what you truly need and deserve. Sometimes you just have to forget what’s gone, appreciate what remains, do the best you can, and look forward to what’s coming next.

Remember, faith isn’t the belief that life will always give you what you want. It’s the belief that life will gradually reveal what’s right.
5. You work through your fears.

Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be lived and learned. Now is the time to live and learn more, so that you may fear less, and live even more. Have a little faith that the universe has a plan for you, and it’s all being revealed in the right time frame. Something you will eventually learn through all your ups and downs is that there are really no wrong decisions in life, just choices that will take your life down different paths. Sometimes you must get hurt in order to grow, or lose in order to gain. Sometimes the lesson you need most can only be learned through a little pain.

Running from fear is a race you’ll never win. In fact, what you’re afraid of dealing with is what will set you free. So don’t let your fear decide for you. Don’t let it shut you down; let it wake you up. Take chances, follow your intuition, and get excited. Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is often worse than the suffering itself.

Everything you want is on the other side of fear. Don’t ever hesitate to give yourself a chance to be everything you are capable of being.
6. You roll with life, instead of against it.
Stop focusing on how stressed you are and remember how blessed you are. Just do your very best. Appreciate each step. Forget the rest.

We often forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but of deeply appreciating what we do have. So stop looking for reasons to be unhappy. Focus on the things you do have and the reasons you should be happy. Positivity changes everything. A happy person is not a person who’s always in a good situation, but rather a person who always has a good attitude in every situation.

Someday you will realize that life is like an ocean. It can be calm and serene or rough and wild, but in the end it’s always beautiful to those willing to ride the waves.
7. You lift others up with your kindness.
Three things define you: Your patience when you have nothing, your attitude when you have everything, and who you help whenever you’re able.

Yes, it takes a great deal of strength to be gentle and kind, but you are much stronger than you think. Even when times are tough, be positive and go above and beyond for those who need you most. In a world full of people who couldn’t care less, be someone who couldn’t care more. Be someone who makes someone else look forward to tomorrow. Act like what you do today makes a difference. It does.

To paraphrase Ralph Waldo Emerson, the purpose of life is not just to be happy, but also to be helpful, to be honorable, to be kind and compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. 

8. You make plenty of time for the people you love.
When we pay attention to each other we breathe new life into each other. With frequent attention and affection our relationships flourish, and we as individuals grow stronger. This is the side effect of great relationships – we help heal each other’s wounds and support each other’s strengths. So stay in close touch with those you care about – communicate openly on a regular basis. Not because it’s convenient, but because these people are worth the extra effort.

In the end, the best investment of your limited time on Earth will be to spend it with people you love. Although it’s perhaps conceivable that you may lie on your deathbed someday regretting that you didn’t work harder and check every little thing off your to-do list, it’s doubtful that your work will be your biggest concern. What’s more likely, however, is that you will wish you could have one more romantic night with your spouse, another long, heartfelt talk with your sister, and one last good hard laugh with your best friend.

Life is too short to be too busy for the people you love.
9. You pause at least once a day to appreciate what you have.

We are born in one moment. We die in one moment. Life changes every moment. Anything can happen in just one moment. Make your moments count by noticing them. Do not constantly allow your spirit to be softened or your happiness to be limited by a time and place you cannot get back or a day that does not yet exist. Live today with eyes wide open.

Wisdom is not just knowing when to stand up and make moves, but when to sit still and be present. It’s knowing your full presence is never a waste of time. Certain things in life simply have to be experienced mindfully, and cannot be explained. The immaculate beauty of NOW is such a thing. We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our attention and gratitude. How often do you pause to appreciate your life and everyone and everything in it? How often do you stop dead in your tracks, just to take a deep breath and smile

A BOY SHOWS HIS FATHER PHOTOS OF HIS MOTHER IN BED WITH OTHER MAN..

A boy was furious when he discovered that his mother was having an affair with another man.
The boy of Zimbabwe, allegedly found nude photos of his mother with another man on her cell phone.

The boy then showed the photos to his father, Dumisani Ndebele. After seeing the photos, Ndebele became furious, saying that his wife had refused him sex for almost a year.

The man attacked his wife at their home in Pumula Bulawayo. He bit her on the cheeks and ripped a piece of her cheek out after he discovered the series of nude photos of her with another man having sex.

Keziya Ndebele denied the allegations that she was cheating on her husband. Instead, she said that her husband went crazy after he was served with divorce papers to end their 18 year marriage.

The woman, who appeared in front of judge Marylene Mtshina with bandages on her face, was granted an order of protection against her husband.
-the citizen.

TIGHT SECURITY AS CCM ENJOYS EARLY LEAD..

Ruling CCM candidate Godfrey Mgimwa was enjoying an early in the Kalenga by-election as results from polling stations in 13 wards began streaming late yesterday.
CCM supporters took to the streets to cheer upon receiving unconfirmed reports that their candidate was ahead of his arch rival, Chadema’s contestant Grace Tendenga.

Final results were expected to be announced late into the night by the returning officer, Ms Kisaka Prudenciana.

Earlier, thousands of voters yesterday cast their votes in the Kalenga Constituency parliamentary by-election in Iringa Region amid tight security.

Apart from police manning polling stations, patrol vehicles were seen in various parts of the constituency since dawn.

Drama witnessed during the election included the arrest of a polling clerk for allegedly giving two ballot papers to a voter.


Returning officer Purdenciana Kisaka confirmed the incident and said another clerk was immediately called in to replace the arrested one.

Ms Kisaka added that until the closure of all polling stations at 4pm yesterday, the exercise had been peaceful in most parts of the constituency.

But in yet another incident, Chadema candidate Grace Tendega, accompanied by Arusha Urban MP Godbless, Lema used a helicopter to visit various polling stations despite a police ban on the use of choppers during the exercise.

At Kiwele Village, police arrived in time and averted a potentially violent confrontation between Chadema and CCM youths. The officers confiscated machetes from some of the youth, who claimed the weapons were for “self defence”.


Agents and clerks used umbrellas to shield ballot papers after an afternoon downpour destroyed the grass-thatched polling station in Mseke Ward.


Iringa Regional Police Commander Ramadhan Mungi said law enforcers were in control of the situation, saying no serious security incidents were reported.




Meanwhile, controversy still surrounds the arrest of Chadema Special Seats MP Rose Kamili who, upon her release on bail from police custody at around noon yesterday, claimed she was abducted and assaulted by unknown people.


She told this newspaper yesterday that her abductors assailed her when she was giving directives to Chadema agents.


The group robbed her of Sh350,000 and $500, two mobile phones and 16 copies of the voter register she was to give the agents. The tearful legislator said: “They beat me up...they humiliated me.”


But CCM regional chairperson Jessica Msambatavangu distanced the party from the incident. She said the party offered Ms Kamili protection until police arrived.


“Let’s wait for police investigations and the truth will be known,” she said.


Mr Mungi said police officers found Ms Kamili at the CCM regional office and took her to the station after some CCM supporters claimed they caught her bribing voters. “We were informed that she was caught bribing voters but on meeting her, she claimed that she was abducted and assaulted, so we are investigating both allegations – bribery and assault,” he said. Mr Mungi, however, said the police could not ascertain how long Ms Kamili had stayed at the CCM offices before law.

-THE CITICEN

LIST OF NAMES OF TEACHERS FOR NEW EMPLOYMENT OPPOTURNITIES 2013/2014

1.univerty teachers(Masters)

                                 DOWNLOWD HERE..

2. List of names of secondary teachers

    CLICK HERE TO DOWLOAD 

3 .Walimu wa shule za awali(certificate teachers)

 CLICK HERE TO DOWLOAD  

DO YOU KNOW?? "TODAY MARKS THE START OF BRAVE NEW FUTURE"...Learn 30 things to start doing to yourself..

Remember today, for it is the beginning.
Today marks the start of a brave new future.

Here it is, a positive ‘to-do’ list for the upcoming year – 30 things to start doing for yourself: 

Start spending time with the right people. – These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways. They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.

Start facing your problems head on. – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them. Problems will not disappear unless you take action. Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done. It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch. These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.

Start being honest with yourself about everything. – Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed. Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become. Be honest with every aspect of your life, always. Because you are the one person you can forever count on. Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are. Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there. 

Start making your own happiness a priority. – Your needs matter. If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself. Remember, it IS possible to take care of your own needs while simultaneously caring for those around you. And once your needs are met, you will likely be far more capable of helping those who need you most.

Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly. – Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are. Be yourself. Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms. Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.

Start noticing and living in the present. – Right now is a miracle. Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future. Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past. Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening. 

Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.
Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you. – Mistakes are okay; they’re the stepping stones of progress. If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not trying hard enough and you’re not learning. Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again. 

Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving. Significant achievements are almost invariably realized at the end of a long road of failures. One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet.

Start being more polite to yourself. – If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend? The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. You must love who you are or no one else will.

Start enjoying the things you already have. – The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc. Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind. 

You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now. So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have.

Start creating your own happiness. – If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out. Smile because you can. Choose happiness. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow. Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it. If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it. But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you’ll find that too. 

Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance. – In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Most of the time you just have to go for it! And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something. Win-Win.
Start believing that you’re ready for the next step. – You are ready! Think about it. You have everything you need right now to take the next small, realistic step forward. So embrace the opportunities that come your way, and accept the challenges – they’re gifts that will help you to grow.

Start entering new relationships for the right reasons. – Enter new relationships with dependable, honest people who reflect the person you are and the person you want to be. Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who show you love and respect – people who reciprocate your kindness and commitment. And pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words or how others represent them.

Start giving new people you meet a chance. – It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you’ve ever made. People and priorities change. As some relationships fade others will grow. 

Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work. Trust your judgment. Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.

Start competing against an earlier version of yourself. – Be inspired by others, appreciate others, learn from others, but know that competing against them is a waste of time. You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself. You are competing to be the best you can be. Aim to break your own personal records.

Start cheering for other people’s victories. – Start noticing what you like about others and tell them. Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places. So be happy for those who are making progress. Cheer for their victories. Be thankful for their blessings, openly. What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.

Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations. – When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope. Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times. And remain conscious of your blessings and victories – all the things in your life that are right. Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.

Start forgiving yourself and others. – We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others. And while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long. We relive the pain over and over and have a hard time letting go. Forgiveness is the remedy. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.

Start helping those around you. – Care about people. Guide them if you know a better way. The more you help others, the more they will want to help you. Love and kindness begets love and kindness. And so on and so forth.

Start listening to your own inner voice. – If it helps, discuss your ideas with those closest to you, but give yourself enough room to follow your own intuition. Be true to yourself. Say what you need to say. Do what you know in your heart is right.

Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks. – Slow down. Breathe. Give yourself permission to pause, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose. When you’re at your busiest, a brief recess can rejuvenate your mind and increase your productivity. These short breaks will help you regain your sanity and reflect on your recent actions so you can be sure they’re in line with your goals.

Start noticing the beauty of small moments. – Instead of waiting for the big things to happen – marriage, kids, big promotion, winning the lottery – find happiness in the small things that happen every day. Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning, or the delicious taste and smell of a homemade meal, or the pleasure of sharing something you enjoy with someone else, or holding hands with your partner. Noticing these small pleasures on a daily basis makes a big difference in the quality of your life.


Start accepting things when they are less than perfect. – Remember, ‘perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’ One of the biggest challenges for people who want to improve themselves and improve the world is learning to accept things as they are. Sometimes it’s better to accept and appreciate the world as it is, and people as they are, rather than to trying to make everything and everyone conform to an impossible ideal. No, you shouldn’t accept a life of mediocrity, but learn to love and value things when they are less than perfect.

Start working toward your goals every single day. – Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Whatever it is you dream about, start taking small, logical steps every day to make it happen. Get out there and DO something! The harder you work the luckier you will become. While many of us decide at some point during the course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of us actually work on it. By ‘working on it,’ I mean consistently devoting oneself to the end result. 

Start being more open about how you feel. – If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it. Talk to those closest to you. Tell them the truth about how you feel.

 Let them listen. The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step toward feeling good again.

Start taking full accountability for your own life. – Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them. Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will. And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own. You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. And no, it won’t always be easy. Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles. Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.

Start actively nurturing your most important relationships. – Bring real, honest joy into your life and the lives of those you love by simply telling them how much they mean to you on a regular basis. You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people. Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty. Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.

Start concentrating on the things you can control. – You can’t change everything, but you can always change something. Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation. Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.

Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes. – The mind must believe it CAN do something before it is capable of actually doing it. The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.

 Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on what you DO WANT to happen, and then take the next positive step forward. No, you can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things. Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on. 

Start noticing how wealthy you are right now. – Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.” Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective. You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night. You didn’t go to sleep outside. You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning. 

You hardly broke a sweat today. You didn’t spend a minute in fear. You have access to clean drinking water. You have access to medical care. You have access to the Internet. You can read. Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.

THE BEST SIGNS YOU'RE IN THE RIGHT RELTIONSHIP..

 




It’s not always where you are in life,
but who you have by your side that matters.

“How do I know if I’m in the right relationship or not?”

This is one of the most common questions our coaching clients ask us. And after Angel and I listen to the specifics of their situation, we often toss a question back at them to further clarify their thoughts and expectations. For instance:

“What do you think a “right relationship” should provide for the people in it?”

 

Although the answer here is obviously subjective, in all relationships, romantic and platonic alike, there are some clear signs that things are going well. So today, let’s take a look at some signs you’re in the “right relationship,” and corresponding tips that could potentially help you make a “wrong relationship” right:
1. No games are being played.

Far too often, we make our relationships harder than they have to be. The difficulties started when… conversations became texting, feelings became subliminal, sex became a game, the word “love” fell out of context, trust faded as honesty waned, insecurities became a way of living, jealously became a habit, being hurt started to feel natural, and running away from it all became our solution. Stop running! Face these issues, fix the problems, communicate, appreciate, forgive and LOVE the people in your life who deserve it.

And of course, if you feel like someone is playing games with you, speak up.
2. Everyone is on the same page.
If a woman starts out all casual with a man and she doesn’t tell him that she wants a committed relationship, it will likely never become a committed relationship. If you give someone the impression that casual, or whatever, is okay with you, that’s what will be assumed going forward. The bottom line is that you have to be straight from the start, or at least as soon as you know what you want. Don’t beat around the bush. If someone gets scared and runs away because you were honest and set boundaries, that person wasn’t right for you anyway.
3. The line of communication is open, honest, and clear.

You can’t be afraid to have certain conversations. It’s better to talk and find out the truth, than to keep going and get nowhere. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t expect the important people in your life to read your mind, and don’t play foolish games with their heads and hearts. Don’t tell half-truths and expect them to trust you when the full truth comes out – half-truths are no better than lies.

Listen without defending and speak without offending. Communication isn’t just an important part of a relationship, it is the relationship. Relationships often fail because of trust issues, commitment issues, and above all, communication issues. So be honest, commit, and COMMUNICATE always. (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Relationships” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
4. Loving deeds consistently reinforce loving words.
Nurture your important relationships so that when you tell the people you love that you love them, it’s merely a ritualistic validation of what you have already shown them by how you treat them on a daily basis. Do little things every day to show your loved ones you care. Knowing that the person you’re thinking of has you on their mind too means a lot.

Truth be told, you can say “sorry” a thousand times, or say “I love you” as much as you want, but if you’re not going to prove that the things you say are true, they aren’t. If you can’t show it, your words are not sincere. It’s as simple as that. And there’s no such thing as a “right” relationship that isn’t sincere at both ends.
5. Expectations of perfection are strictly forbidden.

Any relationship that’s real will not be perfect, but if you’re willing to work at it and open up, it could be everything you’ve ever dreamed of.

Your best friends and your soul mate may be far from perfect, but they are a perfect fit for you. Give them a chance to show you. When you stop expecting the people you love to be a certain way, you can start to enjoy and appreciate them for who they are. What you need to remember is that every relationship has its problems, but what makes it perfect in the end is when you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, even when times are tough.
6. Honesty, vulnerability, and presence are held sacred.

Although it may sound risky, the strongest type of love is the love that makes you the most vulnerable. It’s about daring to reveal yourself honestly, and daring to be open and fully disclosed over the long-term. It’s about sticking by each other’s side through thick and thin, and truly being there in the flesh and spirit when you’re needed most.

So open yourself up. BE with the person you love. Allow yourself to experience them authentically. Tear down any emotional brick walls you have built around yourself and feel every exquisite emotion, both good and bad. This is real life. This is how you welcome a sincere connection with another human being.
7. There is a healthy blend of freedom and teamwork.
Keep in mind that we can’t force anyone to be with us or love us. We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave. And likewise, we should never feel trapped in a relationship. In fact, if either person feels trapped, the relationship doesn’t really exist. Because that’s what relationships are all about: freedom.

Relationships are also built on a solid foundation of teamwork. And since relationships are one of the greatest vehicles of personal growth and happiness, the most important trip you will ever take in life is meeting someone else halfway. You will achieve far more by working with them, rather than working alone or against them. It really is a full circle. The strength of a relationship depends on the strength of its two members, and the strength of each member in the long run depends on the quality of the relationship.

And remember, relationships are rarely 50/50 at any given instant in time. You can’t always feel 100%, or a full 50% of a relationship’s whole – life is simply too unpredictable for that. So on the days when you can only give 20%, the other person must give 80%, and vice versa. It’s never been about balancing steady in the middle; healthy relationships are about two people who are willing to make adjustments for each other in real time as needed, and give more when the other person can’t help but give a little less.
8. Personal growth is embraced, celebrated, and shared.

It’s not about finding someone to lose yourself in, it’s about meeting someone to find yourself in. When you connect with someone special, a best friend or a lifelong partner, this person helps you find the best in yourself. In this way, neither of you actually meet the best in each other; you both grow into your best selves by spending time together and nurturing each other’s growth.

When you honestly think about what you and your closest confidants add to each other’s lives, you will often find that instead of giving or taking things from each other (advice, answers, material gifts, etc.), you have chosen rather to share in each other’s joy and pain, and experience life together through good times and bad. No matter what, you two are there for one another, growing and learning as one.
9. Outsiders aren’t calling the shots.
Relationships don’t always make sense, especially from the outside. So don’t let outsiders run your relationships for you. If you’re having a relationship issue with someone, work it out with THEM and no one else.

You have to live your own life your own way; that’s all there is to it. Each of us has a unique fire in our heart for certain people. It’s your duty, and yours alone, to decide if a relationship is right for you. You’ve got to stop caring so much about what everyone else wants for you, and start actually living and deciding for yourself.

THIS IS NEW WEARING STYLE...WATCH THE PHOTO BELOW..

give us  your opinions!

give us  your opinions!

A WOMAN WHO CLAIMS TO SLEPT WITH 300 PEOPLE..

A ‘hypersexxual’ woman who claims to have slept with 300 people is so addicted to carnal pleasure that she spends up to 5 hours a day having sexx or pleasuring herself.


24-year-old Nessa Jay, from Cromer, Norfolk, finds her addiction to sexx really hard to deal with and she is now having therapy to try to control it.


In an interview, she said: “I get sweaty palms, I feel angry and I need to satisfy myself if I don’t get at least five orgasms a day through sexx.”


Daily Mail report:




Nessa, who describes herself on Twitter as a ‘philosopher in sexx toys’ and ‘boinkologist’, reached her sexxual peak when she was 19 and admitted that she used to have sexx with ‘anyone I could’.


Nessa says she even used to meet sexxual partners in the supermarkets. ‘First I chat to them a bit to make sure they’re not dangerous or odd but once I know they are OK we go home together,’ she said.


She first discovered her thirst for sexx after losing her virginity at the age of 16 but now channels much of her sexxual energy in to her work as a sex toy reviewer.


She has tested 2,000 toys, and says the nature of her job helps her to deal with her cravings.





Variety is the spice of life: Nessa says she enjoys sexx with men and women and has also indulged in threesomes








‘I do not believe in sexx addiction or nymphomania. My sexx drive may be higher than some but it’s healthy because I’m positive about it and I’m also a trained sexx educator so I always make sure I have incredibly safe sexx and get tested regularly.


‘I’m perfectly healthy. I can’t change who I am or how I act and I wouldn’t want to,’ she added.





Nessa also says she’s enjoyed sexx with women and has had threesomes. However, while she has been polyamorous in the past, she has one partner at the moment.









Her sexxual appetite has in the past wreaked havoc with her friendships and many of her female friends have cut ties with her because they’re worried their boyfriends may be attracted to her.



However, speaking to Nick Conrad on BBC Radio Norfolk yesterday, she said: ‘It’s not all about sexx, sometimes I won’t have sexx with them for months. We go out and have dinner, go to the cinema.






‘I have slept with about thirty men in a month before but for years I had regular partners and that was it.


‘There is an emotional side, I believe strongly that people should have some form of emotional connection to enjoy sexx. It is often very intimate, I like physical connections and I have quite high standards actually.’


She has even forged a ‘network’ of sexxual partners but doesn’t want her nymphomania to define her and hopes people will view people with hypersexxuality as ‘normal’.


‘I live an average life which most people my age would live. I see friends, I write, I have hobbies; it’s pretty normal and pretty boring at times actually!

WORSE PIECES OF LOVE ADVICE THAT MUST BE IGNORE....

So here’s our verdict on the very worst pieces of ‘advice’ the Happy Wives are dishing out – we think we’ll definitely be ignoring them. You?

1. “Defer decisions until you can talk about them privately. This means, you make an agreement with your spouse not to accept invitations, decline opportunities or give an answer to anyone about almost anything, until you have talked about it and made a decision together.”

Ok, in theory we’re all for considering your partner or boyfriend’s opinion when it comes to say, accepting that party invite or agreeing to go on a hike up the mountains with Great-Uncle Rory. 

BUT, surely it’s not realistic to check every little thing with our other half before expressing an opinion or agreeing to ‘almost anything’...is it? Isn’t that a bit like waiting for permission? What if your boss offered you a pay-rise – should you stay mute and wait to talk it over with your partner, rather than using your own common-sense and intelligence? 

Surely this kind of advice is just perpetuating the myth that women are less capable than men and need to seek their approval before deciding anything. Being considerate is one thing, but we think this is just next level nonsense.
  

2. “Give some Vitamin F2 every day. What is Vitamin F2, you ask? Flirt and Fun. And yes, I just made it up.  We usually get instructions to *take* vitamins. How about giving some every day to the love of your life?”

Arghhh. Apart from being massively cringe-worthy, surely it’s not possible to give (we can hardly bring ourselves to say it) ‘Vitamin F2’ every single day? Surely some days you can’t take your (gag) ‘vitamins’, because you’ve got other crap going on? Like family meltdowns, work woes or friendship dramas? Surely being part of a happy relationship is supporting each other through the rough and smooth – and being there for each other during the crappy bits too (when realistically, there isn’t a lot of time for ‘flirting and fun’). While keeping a sense of fun alive in a relationship is important, we’re pretty sure the last thing on our mind when we’ve got actual serious stuff to deal with is scheduling in a flirt-sesh or ‘play-time’ with our other half. Meh. Time to get real ladies?

3.  “A happy wife treats her marriage like a ministry. Regardless of your religious affiliation, marriage is a ministry. It’s designed for you to serve your spouse. When you focus on making your husband happy, he will naturally do the same for you.”

Wow. We stopped reading at ‘serving your spouse’. Goodbye.

4.  “A happy wife expresses love to her spouse. She shows her spouse love by having an attitude of gratitude. She tells him how much she appreciates even the smallest of contributions and support.”

Saying please and thank you is polite, granted. But having ‘an attitude of gratitude’ 24/7? Er, no thanks. Surely he’s just as lucky to have an amazing woman as we are having him around – shouldn’t our actions reflect that instead of pandering to his every need in a pathetically submissive and grateful manner? *tears hair out* 

5. “A happy wife surrounds herself with other happy wives. And she’s not ashamed of distancing herself from unhappy or bitter wives. She knows she can lean on other happy wives for prayer and support.”

Surely this is just mean! What if your best pal – coincidentally another wife – has just lost a family member, or has just been made redundant. Should we reject her phone calls and politely decline that coffee date because, well, she’s not particularly happy right now and it might not be good for our relationship? Please. Make. It. Stop.
 

6.  “Change The World Together. Decide to be ‘that couple’, you know the one that gets all of your couple friends to volunteer for a day or do an epic bike ride or walk for a cause. When you both work together on something neutral like this, it brings you together in a unique sort of way that celebrates the “philanthropist” in both of you. Lead together. Don’t just do it together. Together, get others to join you.”

Fun activities together = totally cool and cute. Charity work? We’re on board with that too. But being ‘that couple’ who gets everybody else involved and on your bandwagon? Shoot us now. Besides not having the time to be ‘that couple’ (imagine all the organisation involved!) we’re pretty sure most of our pals would prefer being invited over for a delicious dinner where they can chill out after a long day over a 15-mile-walk for charity en masse.

 Don’t get us wrong, we’re not knocking charity work – but sometimes isn’t it better to go about your business (and any charity work that might involve) in a private, non-preachy way without guilt-tripping all your mates into doing it too?