So here’s our verdict on the very
worst pieces of ‘advice’ the Happy Wives are dishing out – we think we’ll
definitely be ignoring them. You?
1. “Defer
decisions until you can talk about them privately. This means, you make an
agreement with your spouse not to accept invitations, decline opportunities or
give an answer to anyone about almost anything, until you have talked about it
and made a decision together.”
Ok, in theory we’re all for
considering your partner or boyfriend’s opinion when it comes to say, accepting
that party invite or agreeing to go on a hike up the mountains with Great-Uncle
Rory.
BUT, surely it’s not realistic to check every little thing with
our other half before expressing an opinion or agreeing to ‘almost
anything’...is it? Isn’t that a bit like waiting for permission? What if your
boss offered you a pay-rise – should you stay mute and wait to talk it over
with your partner, rather than using your own common-sense and intelligence?
Surely this kind of advice is just perpetuating the myth that women are less
capable than men and need to seek their approval before deciding anything.
Being considerate is one thing, but we think this is just next level
nonsense.
2. “Give some Vitamin F2 every
day. What is Vitamin F2, you ask? Flirt and Fun. And yes, I just
made it up. We usually get instructions to *take* vitamins. How
about giving some every day to the love of your life?”
Arghhh. Apart from being massively
cringe-worthy, surely it’s not possible to give (we can hardly bring ourselves
to say it) ‘Vitamin F2’ every single day? Surely some days you can’t
take your (gag) ‘vitamins’, because you’ve got other crap going on? Like family
meltdowns, work woes or friendship dramas? Surely being part of a happy
relationship is supporting each other through the rough and smooth – and
being there for each other during the crappy bits too (when realistically,
there isn’t a lot of time for ‘flirting and fun’). While keeping a sense of fun
alive in a relationship is important, we’re pretty sure the last thing on our
mind when we’ve got actual serious stuff to deal with is scheduling in a
flirt-sesh or ‘play-time’ with our other half. Meh. Time to get real ladies?
3. “A happy
wife treats her marriage like a ministry. Regardless of your religious
affiliation, marriage is a ministry. It’s designed for you to serve your
spouse. When you focus on making your husband happy, he will naturally do the
same for you.”
Wow. We stopped reading at ‘serving
your spouse’. Goodbye.
4. “A happy
wife expresses love to her spouse. She shows her spouse love by having an
attitude of gratitude. She tells him how much she appreciates even the smallest
of contributions and support.”
Saying please and thank you is
polite, granted. But having ‘an attitude of gratitude’ 24/7? Er, no thanks.
Surely he’s just as lucky to have an amazing woman as we are having him around
– shouldn’t our actions reflect that instead of pandering to his every need in
a pathetically submissive and grateful manner? *tears hair out*
5. “A happy wife
surrounds herself with other happy wives. And she’s not ashamed of
distancing herself from unhappy or bitter wives. She knows she can lean on
other happy wives for prayer and support.”
Surely this is just mean!
What if your best pal – coincidentally another wife – has just lost a family
member, or has just been made redundant. Should we reject her phone calls and
politely decline that coffee date because, well, she’s not particularly happy
right now and it might not be good for our relationship? Please. Make. It.
Stop.
6. “Change
The World Together. Decide to be ‘that couple’, you know the one that
gets all of your couple friends to volunteer for a day or do an epic bike ride
or walk for a cause. When you both work together on something neutral like
this, it brings you together in a unique sort of way
that celebrates the “philanthropist” in both of you. Lead together. Don’t just
do it together. Together, get others to join you.”
Fun activities together = totally
cool and cute. Charity work? We’re on board with that too. But being ‘that
couple’ who gets everybody else involved and on your bandwagon? Shoot us now.
Besides not having the time to be ‘that couple’ (imagine all the organisation
involved!) we’re pretty sure most of our pals would prefer being invited over
for a delicious dinner where they can chill out after a long day over a
15-mile-walk for charity en masse.
Don’t get us wrong, we’re not knocking
charity work – but sometimes isn’t it better to go about your business (and any
charity work that might involve) in a private, non-preachy way without
guilt-tripping all your mates into doing it too?